I remember reading this somewhere 'Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes.. just be an illusion.' and someone mentioning to me it doesn't feel like magic and so, In this moment today, I am captivated by the thought that does magic (lets say of love..) really happen specially if you are trying to find a life partner through matrimonial search. I am of the point of view that one should find a personal whom you find pleasing and interesting enough that you can spend your days and nights with, can be your best friend in life and will make an interesting co passenger in the ride of life. I am still asking myself deep within if I am even looking for that magic. I don't feel it will happen for if it did in everyone's life there will not be a place of fantasy and fiction and thoughts will not venture far away from reality and imagination will be so restricted close to the real life. I think we people of this generation take perfection for granted and have gone over board about the thought of the more you search, the better we will get. Given with info and options overload on everything, we have started to expect more search is going to empower us with better options, not realizing it might complicate us so more that we might not even remember after some time what is that we really wanted to look for when we started. Doesn't that happen when we keep navigating from one page to another on web via links and forget after a while what was that brought me here in the first place and then we go back to the first page, see if it meets your basic needs and then go for it.
In a few meetings, I don't know what to judge, what to explore for looks are something I don't really care about. Saddist it may be but I have always thought what if something really bad happens and the other person's looks are completely gone. Anything unfortunate can come my way or his way, will that change my love, my loyalty, my commitment or the promises I made. In fact not, for that is the time when the other person will be in doubt about his life and will need me the most to rebuild a life. Though very rare this happens, no probability says rules out the chance that it will happen to me. So, it comes down for me to the conclusion that if two people want to make it work and give it enough time and nurturing, like a seed the relationship will grow. May be its too dogmatic a view, but haven't most of the relationships that we see flourished the same way most of the times. Also, most decisions will be taken by gut feel in this process and I recall from one of the communications and advertising trainings I had, don't think when you have a gut feel, listen to your gut feel but then take some time to internalize it and understand the reasons behind the gut feel. One needs to sharpen it and be aware of the reasons for gut feel else one will let the things go by which could have had a dramatic impact. Also, literature and research suggests there have been very few times that when great ideas are borne, it is very rare that someone had a strong positive gut feel towards it in the first go. One needs time to get used to the idea and then react to it. Hmmm.. I did not know a corporate training will come to my aid in personal life :) Thank you to my trainers for educating me on this.
I am also amazed how we have forgotten to mutually reciprocate - in job when company needs you and wants you , we want to move on to some other firm where we need to start afresh and make a place. Friends who care for us we do not spend enough time with them but move on to find newer ones, the moment we find some one likes us, we feel there is more to life than that person, the world is so full of possibilities and we move on. I am guilty of similar thoughts and actions and hope to mend my ways. Mark Twain's words 'The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired' often remind me how writers , poets, psychologists and even grand parents have often warned us that human spirit yearns so much for finding love from people who do not bother about us that it leads to so much pain in general for the society (see the chain effect it will have if no one reciprocated the love and concern but just moved on to find it somewhere else) and also so much wasted time that two people if they would have reciprocated , would have spent having much more fun together and trying to create magic for each other rather than waiting for the magic to happen.
Simplicity has lost its value and what has lost its value even more is the will to accept that love can be found easy if you want to work for it. 'No pains, no gains' is something you want to follow in your work but not in the life. 'Compromise' is the tag we place when adjusting to each other not thinking that its making us experience new things and it might be just interesting to see / feel new things, learn and change if it appeals rather than considering 'its a compromise' if its not the way you do things. I am still struggling to adopt this but in the last 2 years, I have taken baby steps in experiencing new things , new people and changing few things about myself and its good fun.. makes me feel young and also makes me feel I am alive and kicking who is like a bud in the bed of flowers and has to go through many colors yet.
I still feel I am very blessed to meet nice and interesting people on this journey which brings some spunk to my life in an otherwise monotonous routine of job, gym, socializing with same friends ( sorry .. I love u guys really I mean no offence , u r big reason of my happiness day in , day out). I hope if not the soul mate (its only figurative, not literal), I will maybe make some nice friends on the way (rider being if they agree to being friends with me , looks like a difficult one already) and make it a much richer experience for myself rather than working on it like a project and stressing myself and other people with option analysis during meetings / right answers for hypothetical situations / post analysis of could /would /should have / have nots.
I am sure its gonna be a roller coaster ride, I am hoping for more ups than downs, and am hoping when u fall to the lowest ebb, the next rise is also more steep :) I am willing to take more risks and meet more people till the feelings are mutual and not stop myself from confessing how I feel truly for i would rather like someone or if fortunate enough love someone and lose it rather than not doing it for the fear of not coming it through. Some one said ' I would rather love and lose it rather than not love at all.' I wish to do the same, to try my best to what i think is right and not be afraid to fail for failure has led to always greater successes and makes the success so sweet when it comes. Clemenceau echoed the same - A man's life is interesting primarily when he has failed - I well know. For it's a sign that he tried to surpass himself. Here there is nothing to be surpassed though, only one's fear of rejection and rejection is something which is very transient, not to be taken seriously for its not a statement or conclusion about you but is a result of the situation which is brought about by weaving of so many threads without a pattern and connection to each other that it gets so entangled leaving you with the mixed feeling of not knowing where its leading to.
So, right now I am excited how this story /stories will unfold and what it brings to me but let the surprises come my way, let laughter take a toll on me, let this be joyous enough for all involved as all this will not lead to a happy ending but a new beginning. I promise no sadness, no tears and no hard feelings for life is so short to keep them with me. I would rather collect the smiles and let the rest pass on. Someone I know said, "If space is free, it does not mean that you should keep collecting things you don't need'.
If you know someone interesting enough, that you think I should meet / know, do let me know. Who knows maybe the magic will happen.
No worry, no hurry for the road is long
Turns will be many, maybe right maybe wrong
I wanna ride the tide and drown many times
Who knows I have to go deep down
for the pearl I need to find :)
Feel free to share what you feel after reading it , or more so if you have a different point of view, different experiences to share, I am looking forward to all experiences and education it brings :)
