When it starts with the end ...

Endings are difficult to start with. Always. It has been like that since the time hopes started dying in front of hardships that humans faced. When a child is born we celebrate the birth but a mother knows how her sole possession in life she valued the most has been taken away and now she is asked to share it with the rest of the world. A bond so sacred between the two souls which was held close to both hearts , the unquestionable trust and the undying support for each other ends and a relationship is born which is held together by sacrifice and expectations. A mother knows how the end feels, the end which signifies that a soul now exists separate from you. When the child cries and mother reciprocates that cry with tears both mourn the separation and void created by the birth. The world ignorant of the turmoil tries to cheer the mother by handing her over the child which she knows is the reason of her void and her tears are named ‘tears of joy’ and the child’s cries are celebrated as if they signify joy. The pain and separation of both souls gets lost in the merriment of the world around. Life is hard all will agree, but never I knew the life when is borne the hardest of all. So when life begins with an ending can it be anything different from the seeds from which it is grew.

I still explore if there are reasons for pain and loneliness in my heart but I find none. I walk miles and miles in search of a hand which is warm and soothes my soul but I find none. I drown my tears and sadness in laughter and jokes but when I take a breath, tears cloud my vision and a scream leaves my heart to call out someone from whom I am distanced. I feel lonely in a crowd of friends as if I am a dropped feather of a bird in a deep forest which has no life and no existence of its own, but lies in stillness as a mark of the freedom of a soul.